Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Bharat Nirman Postponed



Till the mid-1980s India had touts for everything. Touts for ration-cards, touts for railway tickets, touts for passports, touts for govt jobs and even touts to quash police cases. Name anything connected to the govt and you had touts. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “so what’s new?” I agree, we still have touts for a lot of things and in some cases like top Railway jobs their charges run into crores. Well, till the mid-1980s we also had crusaders and that’s the difference. Problem with the post office? Run to her! Problem with the police not registering FIRs? Run to her! Problem with the fair-price shop? Run to her! Problem with adulterated petrol? Run to her! In short, from domestic issues to legal issues everyone ran to her. Who was she? She was the late Priya Tendulkar who played the crusading ‘Rajani’ almost 3 decades ago. Everyone loved watching her taking up the fight for the underdog and winning.  And then… Rajiv Gandhibrought computers to India”. You would have thought this magic machine and later the internet would solve everything. It appears not. Priya is back!

The Congress which started with the grand Bharat Nirman ads with the jingle “Ho raha Bharat Nirman” found that people aren’t buying that crap. Other than enriching TV channels and news media with public money it seems to have achieved nothing for them. On the contrary it has invited more ridicule than appreciation or acceptance. The underlying principle of every Congress campaign seems to be that the common man and woman are actually “Common Bimbos” who can’t think or do anything for themselves. So they need that “Priya” crusader to tell you everything. Your “rights” to everything under the sun. Take a look at these two pics from current video ads:

In the top pic Priya Madam is pulling up the grocer to give the right quantity of grains at right price to a “common bimbo”. So, education on the Food Security Bill! This is after half a century of PDS, ration-cards and so called fair-price shops. What would we do without Priya Madam, no? In the next pic is an educated guy who wants to buy a house and the builder has confused him with the pricing, FSI and all that. So in walks Priya Madam and the scared builder warmly welcomes her and immediately sets things right. That’s the real estate regulatory bill, which according to some reports is yet to be passed in parliament. (Though that is not material to this post). On September 17 HeadlinesToday was running reports on how the FSB has already created a major racket in Delhi with touts charging 200 for every application or registration. On the other hand it seems the Delhi govt had also underestimated the grain-requirement so that is another problem. Looks like Priya Madam now has more touts to deal with. Goodluck! Here’s what I wrote sometime back in “An idiot’s guide to Bharat Nirman”:

The Congress is a master at drawing this picture. In other words they are quite clear who their voter is. This is a good thing for any political party. They are even better, they ensure their customer stays the way he has always been; a perfect village bumpkin or a village idiot. Keep them permanently in low education levels and low development of their villages so that they marvel at the wonders of the world the Congress creates. This village bumpkin explains how he saw magic stairs that go up and down. He describes how this that magic thing goes “Trrrrrrr” above ground and “Trrrrrrr” underground and how it has magic doors that open and close. Whoa! What could that possibly be?”

That “Trrrrrr”, “magic stairs” and “magic doors” was about the Delhi metro which our village bumpkins marvel at. You see, “Delhi me metro kaun laaya”? And to the poor and suffering in our villages Rahul Gandhi says “only your dreams can take India forward” (Baran, Rajasthan September 17). I think for that to succeed, we must first arrest and jail Christopher Nolan. He’s the guy who creates characters who steal our dreams (Inception). But while the Congress and their ad agencies still name the new series of ads ‘Bharat Nirman’ one doesn’t hear that jingle anymore. In fact, apart from the Priya Madam ads there are others that don’t even ring a bell with the “common bimbo”. I don’t even see why the “common bimbo” needs education on something called NSSO (National Sample Survey Organisation). This series of ads is being released with TV actors in it. Take a look at this “sample”:



This NSSO has been around forever, since India became a Republic. What they do is basically collect statistics from all social and economic sectors and develop proper models for the surveys. They also collect data from business and service units. So the characters in the ads go to individual homes to ask questions to families. What’s the purpose? One that I heard was they wanted to understand the purchasing price or expenses on Tomatoes. Now you know how fast we are heading to be a super-power. The Congress wants to use the NSSO to understand your tomato consumption. Count a blessing! That is one series. There are other govt organisations that are also advertising which have no connection with people at large. Although I am not sure, I think one series was also by Mazagon Dock Limited. I suppose that is just in case you prefer “shipping” your letters instead of speed-post or those regular couriers. Bravo! And who does all this enrich? Of course, you won’t find anyone from TOI Group, NDTV or CNN-IBN etc. doing this analysis. They too believe in the concept of “common bimbos”.  

In all of this there is something that takes the cake. The man who “brought computers to India” is also the guy who nearly 3 decades ago said “of every 100 that the govt spends only 15 reaches the poor” or something like that. You guessed right! Even back then 85 used to go the touts. Okay, when nothing else works the Congress falls back on its most potent weapon: Gandhi. So under the Direct Benefit Transfer they recall those golden words of Rajiv Gandhi of 15/100 (which RahulG repeats even today) and transform that into an ad. Take a look (1.00 min):

video
I am simply stunned that with all the resources at their disposal and all the external brains those resources can buy the Congress could commit such an enormous blunder. It is monumental and none from the media would point out because they were busy making bills and collecting payments. The Congress doesn’t realise that the woman in the ad who looks like late-30s when she’s listening to RajivG turns into something like mid-80s by the time she supposedly realises her pension directly. And even for that she again needs Priya Madam, the crusader. Amazing that the creators didn’t realise it’s a faux pas. That the Congress usually takes over 30 years to deliver on a commitment. And that Garibi Hatao thing hasn’t been delivered despite 42 years. And that old woman getting the payment directly into her bank is not such a big miracle even. That’s how you goof up when you think Gandhi, Gandhi and only Gandhi. The same happened with the “Ho raha Bharat Nirman” ads. But in the BN case the party realised the fundamental flaw. We’ll get to it.

Alright, let’s be nice, let’s say even if all these doles to the media educated a few million that wouldn’t be a bad thing. What does amaze me is the ads are like this guy who makes tall claims and then realises there’s a small problem. So he tells his lenders “Sunday ko naha dho ke aana” (Video 1.36 mins):

video
At least the loveable Baburao Apte has every intention of paying off his debts and has no intentions of cheating. He has just postponed it by 3 days. What about Bharat Nirman? You see, our guys realised the fake claims might boomerang. So in the latest series still known as the BN ads the line has changed from “Ho raha Bharat nirman” to “Meelon humme jaana hai”. So if you got this far, walk another mile. And then some more miles. Call me when you get there. Bharat Nirman just got postponed. 

27 comments :

  1. Suprabhat Sir (an early riser like u :))

    Two things
    1. This DMT money will go to husband's account (and he will use it his way) and wife will pay Rs 1000 for Gas cylinder ..so major budget challenge for kitchen runner.

    2. Please come up with a post on solutions which modi provides in his speeches. We see this complaint from MSM that modi does not talk of solutions. Though i have seen in all his speeches, since 7 feb SRCC one, only solutions and approaches.

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  2. How can something (Bharat Nirman) be postponed that never even started?

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  3. Ha Ha. .Ha...you caught them again pants down. These Fortune 500 Ad agencies and their client Congress/UPA are just trying to sell very bad and flawed product.

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  4. Not just the BN ads, there's a problem with all all govt ads. Those ones which feature Sonia. Example: the TOI-let paper had a half page colour ad on 13 Sept from Dept of Industrial Policy & Promotion, Ministry of Commerce & Industry, regarding the foundation stone unveiling of National Institute of Design, Bhopal by Anand Sharma, "Hon'ble" Minister of Comm & Ind. On the right side there's a big pic of Sonia grimacing something passing for a smile, and the usual one of MMS and a small one in the middle of the "Hon'ble" minister himself. The problem is with the Sonia pic. For the benefit of those of us common bimbos/bumpkins who don't know, this pic is captioned "Smt. Sonia Gandhi/ Hon'ble Chairperson, UPA". Now if this is a govt ad then no doubt i and other taxpayers have paid for it. I demand a refund from the UPA, which after all, is just a gaggle of political parties. Why should we fund a UPA ad? Surely UPA have scammed enough dough to run their own ads.

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely...also when they announced Telengana the Congi TV Panelists were boasting that Sonia Gandhi decide to give Telengana...None of the anchors asked who the F is the congress to divide our country.

      Also notice the size of their schemes 70,000 crores loan waiver, 40,000 crores Nrega, 1.25 lakh crores FSB and let me assure no audit company except if they train the entire Indian army will be able to audit these schemes so the leakages are their salaries their bonuses come from 2G, CWG, Coalgate etc. etc. etc.

      Also they have realized that they will not be coming back to power and I can bet quite a few of the coterie may be booking chartered flights six months in advance. They have decided to leave the economy in shambles so that the incumbent PM will be busy steadying the runaway coach rather than worrying about Swiss bank a/c's.

      Well I hope NAMO can multitask.

      Delete
  5. Using the name'Priya' needs be looked with the cunning tactics perspective. Maybe Bianca is about to be Launched soon, after the dismal show by the State Of Mind.

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    Replies
    1. We can then have a replay of the Benazir- Zardari era in India with the Mr.10% verymuch in the pipeline.However 10% is a very conservative estimate by UPA standards.

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    2. In this regard take a look at Raabert's feedback form on this belly-ripping laugh of an article. I was ROFLing all the time.

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    3. Dear desicontrarian,
      Thank you soooo much for the link.Brilliant article-rib tickling.I hope the characters mentioned will go thro` the write up & enjoy(?)

      Delete
    4. You are welcome. Do go through Anand Ranganathan's Doodles series as well. The wittiest political satirist with depth In India today.

      Delete
  6. Direct transfer amount is paid by oil companies and govt did not pay them back.Now Oil companies are threating to stop the money transafer.

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  7. Priya is not an imported name...Indira Priyadarshini Gandhi....
    Ho raha hai ghar ka samman!

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    Replies
    1. Also think of "Priya"nka Gandhi Vadera (surname use depends on the political season)

      These buggers are being too clever by half. These advertisements are just means to keep the MSM licking their footsoles.

      Keep up the good work !!

      Delete
  8. Hahahaha! Bharat Nirmaan just got post phoned! True!

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  9. All the mainstream channels showed so called exclusive sting, on the law enforcers asked to go slow on/before the riots of Muzaffarnagar, which makes it amply clear that it was done to help "some" parties and malign the "others". It was so well orchestrated and the telecast videos handed out to everyone. The role MSM plays by showing a biased propaganda and hence polarize people further, is criminal. Added to that what some of the online news portals write about. No one shows the real picture, other than the initial reports and later photo-ops showing as if the "minorities" were the worst affected. Whilst some of the visuals from the "sting" yesterday show a completely different story wherein the rubble rousing is done by the "visibly" more affected community.
    Can this country ever rise above this criminal stupidity? Elections happen all over the world. What is so special about the process in India? Why is so much posturing being done and so much propaganda unleashed? Unless of course there is a lot to lose for "some people".
    By back of the hand calculations, one requires about 30% votes of the eligible electorate to win an election. This makes the work of the politicians easy as well as tough as the battle is to gun for a magic figure of 30%! Bring out the demographic inputs from the last census baby!!
    It would take us a long and painful journey to mature as a democracy. Even tiny Maldives has the process of elimination, wherein the final winners eventually needs more than 50% of the votes cast. We can continue to "watch" debate on the chat shows passed off the serious national debates on the elitist and paid for news channels. But I think it is imperative to take a look at our Constitution and make relevant amendments.
    Cheers

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  10. Congress has got Ph.D in hoodwinking people. So it postpones every thing for life time but gives an impression of good days are at door step! With this `cleaver' policy congress started its journey from the time of Nehru. He `promised' paradise with Five years plans, irrigation projects etc. After that Indiraji roared `garibi hatao'!

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  11. Wow... what a biased article... hats off!

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  12. Good one.. Also if you see carefully each and every half page advt. in regional newspapers from UPA. You can see easily their 'minority' voters reflection in one or two models. I mean common their are 555 different kind of voters category and you still choose that one each and every time? Congress knows that even 'Those' people will be happy to see their reflection somewhere in any newspaper. Such a optimistic way to gain votes by UPA.
    -NOM

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  13. Atleast in the Rajani episodes, she had to fight with all her might for the rights. Here in the Bharat Nirman ads, the mere appearance of Priya melts the guys and they immediately change their stance!

    Something like this Priya represents Congress and these bimbos are being exploited and when the Congress govt comes in, all falls in place!

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  14. Off topic: Ravinar, have you noticed a new trend these days? The media has started getting leftist leaning intelligentsia, (but having a halo of neutrality around them as they are not linked to any political party,) to talk about how they feel opposed to NaMo as PM. It started with Amartya Sen. Now its Amitav Ghosh....


    http://www.rediff.com/news/slide-show/slide-show-1-modi-being-pm-would-be-destabilising-amitav-ghosh/20130917.htm

    Also, did you see the debate on Barkha's show last night about whether Muslims would accept Modi? The cliches used by Amir Raza Husain and Barkha were very succintly countered by Zafar Sareshwala, but yet Barkha kept cutting him off!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ORc9QP4isE

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    Replies
    1. yes add to the list in bangalore Ananth murty literature personality of Jnanapeeth award winner. He too wants to leave the country if Modi becomes PM.I wonder whether USA would be ready to offer them the permanent stay in their country

      kgnayak

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    2. Add Girish Karnad to that list. Oh! That would be a dream come true - Ananthamurthy and Girish Karnad on the same flight out of India. I will be at the airport to ensure that they have indeed left. I have now started realising why India was under slavery for so long. Our intellectuals whose roots where shaky and whose love for the nation was at best lip service have been letting us down for a 1,000 years.

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  15. Only social media guys are aware of Congress and its scams. but many sections of the society still support congress. It is clear that Congress gets vote from uneducated villagers who fall for food, money and liquor ! It has been there since decades. But this time the youths know the truth and it is our duty to spread the awareness among all the people whom we know around us. So that there won't be Congress rule anymore at the center.

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  16. Firstpost seems to be going all out of the way promoting Rahul Gandhi. Every day there is an article comparing Narendra Modi and Rahul Gandhi with conclusions drawn out always favouring the latter. I am really surprised that they have become so blatantly partisan of late

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  17. Dear Ravi,

    Probably this comment of mine is misplaced and in appropriate to this particular article. But this is something i just came across, and my blood boils to see the indifference shown by media and we Indians in UP.
    It seems the english media has never brought out even 1% of the actual ground level reality to the people of this country. Its high time indians stand up and be united. Wake up Brothers or else our sisters will be victims. The link to some of the actual saddest things that happened in UP is -

    http://bharatkalyan97.blogspot.com/2013/09/muzaffarnagar-15-lakh-hindus-rally.html

    ReplyDelete
  18. https://twitter.com/sureshnakhua/status/380600878111010817/photo/1

    Govt doesn't rape (ask rapists)
    Govt doesn't deal with errorist (ask Pakistan)
    Govt doesn't control crime (ask criminals)
    Govt doesn't not run stock markets (ask foreign Institutions)
    Govt doesn't control policies (ask Ambanis)
    Govt doesn't cook propaganda (ask media)
    Govt doesn't keep coal gate files (ask kabbadiwalas)
    Govt doesn't run country (ask Sonia)
    Govt doesn't take responsibility (ask Opposition)
    Does the Government sell onions?Ask the vendors and traders, not us -Kapil Sibal on Onion price rise
    Sheila govt not resp for safety,Kapil Sibal govt not resp for onion prices, Akhilesh govt not resp for riots. So, what is their job exactly?

    ReplyDelete

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