Monday, December 10, 2012

Congress Brigade: Boozing With Confidence


If a man could be two places at one time then you could hear a statement like this: "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future". Yeah... some people are so proactive they make judgements in the future. How about this one: “A mind is a terrible thing to waste”? Anyone would easily agree with that. Why should anyone waste a mind? If you think I invented these statements you are wrong. That was a former VP of the US. So much has been said about FDI and potatoes but this one should win. At a spelling bee in a school, when a 12-year old student spelled the word as ‘Potato’, Dan Quayle corrected him; that it should be ‘Potatoe’. That’s Potato with an ‘e’. Dan Quayle who? Yes, he was Vice President of the US under George Bush Sr. from 1989 to 1993. So it shouldn’t surprise us that some really unintelligent people are ruling in India. Not since Sarah Palin in 2008 have election seasons been so much fun. First it was UP and now it’s Gujarat. Sonia Gandhi and Manmohan Singh are already delivering great punch lines but we await the King of Comedy; Rahul Gandhi.


Russia may have wondered many times why they sold off Alaska to the US for 7.5 million dollars and probably even regretted it. But they would have never expected one day in the future it would produce a VP candidate in Sarah Palin. So when she said “You can see Russia from Alaska” it lightened up a whole country. Technically, she wasn’t wrong considering a few islands between Russia and Alaska are just miles off each other. But most took it for being able to see the Kremlin and Putin’s ugly head from her house in Alaska. So when Rahul Gandhi said 10 out of 7 youths are drug addicts in Punjab (he did immediately correct it to 7 of 10) he made a valid point but was technically wrong. One of her first interviews with the media (Katie Couric – Sarah Palin) was a total disaster. Sample this one:


COURIC: And when it comes to establishing your world view, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this — to stay informed and to understand the world?

PALIN: I’ve read most of them again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media, coming f-

COURIC: Can you name a few?

PALIN: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news too. Alaska isn't a foreign country, where, it's kind of suggested and it seems like, 'Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C. may be thinking and doing when you live up there in Alaska?' Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.


For all the mumbo-jumbo, Palin couldn' name a journal. I think that answer could have come from Rahul Gandhi or even Sonia Gandhi. Nobody knows what they read; they probably read everything too. And given there are “two Indias” that RahulG sees it must surely be quite a task keeping in touch with both. Palin was at least courageous enough to face the media on her own at the start but Sonia and Rahul are too scared to face any questions. Their gaffes in the public domain are slowly becoming folklore. I’ve never known Sonia Gandhi to speak without a written speech or do an interview without a written script. As for RahulG, well, I think Barkha Dutt is still “evolving” him so we will know him better some day when he makes good judgements in the past. Er… somewhat like Dan Quayle who made judgements in the future.

It is one thing in politics to twist a few things and use ‘convenient statistics’ but to dish out absolute untruths makes one a laughing stock. If our media were truly free we would be full of comedy about the way Sonia Gandhi makes her statements. I can list a million things one can say against Narendra Modi. To start with, if you were campaigning with women audience you could point out that he’s not your “Gillette man”. You know, the beard and all surely doesn’t get their vote because Gillette women prefer clean-shaven men. But to get to Gujarat and pronounce “roads are bad” is a real “Gandhi- moment” that Sarah Palin would be proud of. Naturally, if not the MSM, other folks had a good laugh as the cartoon suggests. There can be a thousand faults with Gujarat but bad roads aren’t the one anyone remotely associates with Gujarat. NDTV produces a bullet-point summary of SoniaG’s utterances in her latest round of great Gandhi moments. It’s reproduced like a parrot without any editorial comments but let me have the honour of completing NDTV’s unfinished work. (Some quotes in blue).

Who can forget how Rajivji worked towards development in this state. Oh yeah, who can forget! After all he brought computers to Gujarat too, didn’t he? As one wag from the public put it on TV9, SoniaG can't give one speech without patting herself or the Gandhis on the back.

Congress built the six-laned National Highway - so in the eastern region there will be more
development. Huh? Eastern region? Which eastern region? Like Eastern UP or like Eastern India? Or was she referring to the Golden-quadrilateral initiated by AB Vajpayee? Except for maybe two or three most highways in Gujarat are state highways.

Adivasi areas like Chhota Udaipur have been converted from metre gauge to broad gauge. Hmm... total failure by Narendra Modi. He paid no attention to Railways at all, which falls under Gujarat govt. Remember, Dan Quayle once said “For NASA, space is still a high priority”. Oh... that’s just in case NASA planned on opening grocery shops.

The UPA government has waived crores worth of farmer loans, but farmers here are struggling due to the anti-farmer policies of the state government. According to latest information the CAG is about to release a report indicating a 52000Cr scam in the loan waiver. Most waivers have been in AP, Maharashtra and UP. For some reason these very states seem to top in farmer suicides.


Fortunately, SoniaG didn’t come up with any new epithets for Modi like “Road ka Saudagar” or “Rail ka Saudagar”. This time it was left to the speech-writers of the PM to deliver the spin and the untruths. A PM belongs to a political party but his office should make him rise above petty lies even as he trashes his political opponents but not Manmohan Singh. His speech in Gujarat was as spineless, untruthful as we have mostly come to know him. So MMS says: “We don’t indulge in politics of dividing the society like the opposition parties… Such politics cannot benefit any political party for a longer period”. True! The Congress has a history of dividing society and is really the true communal party in India. And as MMS rightly points out, it hasn’t benefited Congress for longer periods which is why Congress stocks have dwindled in UP and Bihar which are dominated by caste-based politics. Congress has been wiped out in Bengal, Tamil Nadu, Odisha for a long period. MMS also came up with “no drinking water in Gujarat” when his own govt had given Gujarat an award on our water distribution. I wonder if the PM thinks he is addressing his cabinet members and not smart people.

Then MMS goes on to say “minorities don’t feel secure in Gujarat”. That card is now giving them diminishing returns as UP showed. All the ‘Pasmanda muslims’ and special quotas for them didn’t pay. And true to the Congress agenda the media (like CNN-IBN) first whip up some Muslim narrative which is then hammered by MMS and then the faithful media-slaves then produce great headlines as Indian Express does here. The best part of slavery is that the PM seeks votes not to strengthen his hands, his party’s hands or the nation’s hands. He seeks votes to strengthen “SoniaG’s hands”. Boozing with confidence!  And so on Tuesday (December 11) we await the final onslaught by Rahul Gandhi; just a day before campaigning closes before the first round of polls in Gujarat. We wait with bated breath. There is something that drives the confidence of Sarah Palin, Dan Quayle and, of course, Rahul Gandhi. It’s their devoted fans. If Sonia Gandhi has her “Madamji at your feet” types RahulG has his own brigade. Yes, it’s called the “Rahul Gandhi Brigade” and the website is titled “National Congress Brigade” (Never mind that they got the map of J&K wrong). Their president is some Dr. Akash Goyal who has pics with everyone up there except with Rahul Gandhi. The inspirational message is quite simple and clear and here are some edited excerpts:

Why we have chosen INDIAN YOUTH & Rahul Gandhi as our icon!!!! INDIA is one of the world’s youngest democracies with more than 60 per cent of its population between the age group of 18 and 45 years. With majority of population in its younger years, India is boozing with confidence and zeal and in coming years is ready to leave an impact on the world politics… Modern day youth have been shaped by a variety of historical forces. These forces are worth taking a second look at


Oh yeah! They are Boozing with confidence and these forces are worth taking a second look at. So, please do start boozing and take a second look. The bar for youth has been raised to 45 to accommodate RahulG I suppose. When he is 60, this site may take a “second look” and raise the bar to 60. Nice! Oh… apologies for the interruption, please continue reading:

He brought the killing of Christians in Kandhamal, problems faced by the Dalit community & all important public issues etc. to the PARLIAMENT & tried at his to solve them. However, Sometimes he sounded like a new entrant but all this also comes with freshness.

Who in the world can deny all that, eh? After all the number of times RahulG has spoken in the parliament there can’t be any problem in India that he hasn’t brought to the notice of the nation. You have to adjust the fact that he’s a new entrant so that explains his freshness. You know, like fresh vegetables from Reliance Fresh that are waiting to be chopped. SoniaG wants Gujaratis to vote the Congress to set a new direction. I was taught somewhere in my childhood not to worry too much about the road as long as the direction is right. I’m not so worried about Gujarat but the nation does need a new direction and the road is definitely not with people with no vision and no sense of direction themselves. After hearing her, after hearing Manmohan Singh and I’m sure after hearing Rahul Gandhi soon Gujjus can certainly claim their confidence is all boozed up

20 comments:

  1. They want RahulG to come to Gujarat so they can shift the blame on him for the total bashing they face. LOL. For the all the degrees and doctorates he has MMS still needs approval from Madamji who in turn depends on some body else to write speeches.

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  2. Nailed it !! But you didn't told the story behind Punjab youth comments by Rahu[sic]Gandhi. Actually he was told by his PR that 70% (i.e. 7 out of 10) of the drug addicts in Punjab are youth. Which mean majority of drug addicts in Punjab are youth (which is distinctly different from "majority of Youth in Punjab are drug addicts" !!). But he completely messed it up, as usual. But who cares, Crooks in Media started trying, justifying and burying it.

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  3. I was reading with all attention and than I burst in to laughter with the following statement:

    "The bar for youth has been raised to 45 to accommodate RahulG I suppose. When he is 60, this site may take a “second look” and raise the bar to 60. Nice! Oh…"..

    great article Ravi.
    Congress needs to be thrown out from this country.
    They have divided each and every segment of this nation in the name of secularism and democracy.
    I wonder when will their pot of lies will be filled up and will broke to pieces.

    I really love your thoughtful articles Ravi.

    Regards
    Your Humble Fan.

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  4. the congress party hic, is all boozed up hic hic and seems to be in high spirits hic hic hic - just wait for the hangover ooh aah ouch !

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  5. Great piece. Just a small point: Dec 10th, Tuesday... or Monday?

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  6. I think today or yesterday sonia gandhi said in her 'rally' in Gujarat "All the funds given by UPA to Gujarat were diverted only to Narendra Modi's constituency. There is no development in other areas of Gujarat".
    At the same time, Shweta Bhatt (Sanjay Bhatt's wife) says "In spite of this being Modi's constituency, there is no water, no schools, no hospitals". (Does she mean that people in Maninagar don't drink water, don't send their children to schools, don't get treated at all?)
    Congress has certainly run out of ideas...or rather they never had any idea at all, especially in Gujarat.

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  7. Tavleen Singh in her recent interview in Newslaundry says that Sonia's advisers are her children. So that explains the goofy speeches. So they think the voters are fools, or can be fooled. She still repeats the tired old rubbish about the munificence of the Central govt. not being properly used by the Guj. State govt. When it should have been the Guj govt to ask the Centre what the heck they've been doing with all the taxes that Guj gives to the Centre.

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  8. Ravinar,

    Speaking of Congress confidence, have you noticed the Gujarat Congress advertisements on Television?

    At least to the layman, these would appear to be quite inspiring - - since they have been carried out with a professional finesse.

    Do you feel these could have some dent in BJP's votes? Particularly since the BJP appears to be relying solely on NaMo power....

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    Replies
    1. Dear Ravindra,

      1)MEDIA HAS BEEN EXPOSED & IT HAS LOST ITS CLOUT OVER MASSES DUE TO BAD PRODUCT DELIVERY. HENCE NO MATTER WHAT YOU ADVERTISE PEOPLE WILL ONLY VOTE IF YOU CAN ACTUALLY DELIVER.
      2) NAMO POWER IS NOT SOME MAGIC BUT A RESULT OF CONTINUOUS HARD WORK FOR PAST 10 YEARS. ONLY FOOLS CAN BE INSPIRED WITH SOME RANDOM ADVERTISEMENTS.

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  9. राहुल G के स्वर्गीय पिता G श्री राजीव G जब PM थे तो एक बार चित्रकूट गए . जैसी की परंपरा है भाषण में स्थानीय ऐतिहासिक महापुरुषों और घटनाओं का ज़िक्र किया जाता है ........सो स्पीच राइटर ने लिख के दिया की रामायण में वर्णित नैमिशारान्य भी यहीं था ( नैमिशारान्य यानि ऐतिहासिक जंगल ) सो  राजीव G ने भाषण में कहा की अपने नेमी शरण जी भी यही के रहने वाले थे ?..............कहने का मतलब ये की ये साले सब खानदानी duffers हैं .........अंगूठा टेक अनपढ़ खानदान 

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  10. Congress needs serious advisers is a reality,but,no point showing a mirror to the blind.
    No old congi would have ever goofed up either the speech or the incident which would confuse the voters.
    But,then,congress not what it used to be.
    If its true that her children guide Sonia writing her speeches,I can only feel sorry for her.

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  11. ha ha hilarious. Boozing with confidence and raising the bar (pun, is it intended).Gujarat is the talking point of all media crooks now. on sunday at 10 pm one should have watched Justice Goswami tearing apart modi and his Gujarat. only Smriti Irani was defending the literal onslaught of nine others one after the other.It was actually an inquisition.I could not watch the atrocity and switched to another kannada channel showing equally obnoxious way sitcom of karnataka politics.ultimately switched off the TV and started reading a book on Shatavadhani Dr Ganesh and got peace of mind.

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  12. I haven't stopped laughing after I read this article, Ravinar.
    Great piece once again.

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  13. The link should be this: rgyb . in

    The President link doesn't work (at least at my end)

    Wonderful Read, we all wait for RG's Postmortem now :)

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    Replies
    1. Here's the link
      http://www.rgyb.in/?page_id=162

      Delete
  14. Hello Ravi. Thanks for this hilarious one. I was taught [and also learned] that Exageration and Illogic are great sources of Comic entertainment. And I am grateful that you have been generous enough to give credit to SoniaG, MMS-G, and RahulG for their great CQ [Comic Quotient] and EQ [Entertainment Quotient]. And what a boon it will be to all thirsty Gujjus if they can Booz fearlessly in Gujrat! Gujjus should be grateful to 'G's. By the way, after reading I have a suggestion: Why not call RahulG's Brigade as "Notional" instead of "National"[pronounced NESHANAL] Brigade?? Regards - K R Vaishampayan

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  15. What do you expect? And also, why should they bother? Half the country is horribly poor and they know they can dole out money as subsidy or direct cash transfer and win the elections. But its a sad fact that Sushama Swaraj was quoting wrong facts on FDI debate. Of all the people, the BJP should have known that the Media will dig up facts(ie do their real job) on whatever they say , unlike Sonia or Rahul.

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  16. Yeah! LOL, what can you expect from theses Chamchas? OLD MONK and Gin Drinkers Brigade!!!

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  17. This one again a grt piece of writing frm u ,Ravi. But don't u think it was more about politics and much less about media and their crooks ?

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  18. Just look at this link....

    http://deshgujarat.com/2012/11/25/why-bjp-men-are-circulating-congress-ad-have-a-look/


    This is really hilarious!!! Congress ads use pictures of malnourished children from Sri Lanka and try to project it as Gujarat children....

    The depths to which the Congress is falling....

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