The phrase “Law is an ass” may have originated in a 17th century play by one George Chapman. But the phrase is more prominently credited to Charles Dickens’ ‘Oliver Twist’. When Mr. Bumble, the unhappy spouse of a domineering wife, is told in court that "...the law supposes that your wife acts under your direction", the poor Bumble replies: "If the law supposes that, the law is an ass - an idiot". Well, judges have taken that kindly in their stride ever since but even in this century there are some who think the same, these are modern literary assholes who sometimes masquerade as journalists! Whether it’s an ass or not, I’m not so sure anyone will find the law very sexy or expect it to guarantee an orgasm. Well, I guess no one, unless you are Sagarika Ghose (SG).
“2G case is symbol of national catharsis on graft, courts feel pressured by public baying for blood, evidence (or lack of it), is out of window”. That’s a tweet from none other than SG on November 3. That was in response to rejection of bail to DMK MP Kanimozhi by a CBI court in Delhi. That surely wasn’t the first stupid tweet SG has ever sent out. If there ever were a compilation of stupid tweets, most of SG’s messages would find their way in there. Evidently, journalistic bimbos seem to believe that the law is nothing but like the artful porn that they often keep peddling. This is not the first time SG has demonstrated stupidity where law is concerned. On September 12 when the SC referred the petition against Narendra Modi back to the lower courts the same SG was anguished and desired that the SC should have at least past ‘moral strictures’ against Modi. Not all done, a bit earlier the Allahabad High Court verdict on Ayodhya last year was referred to as ‘Panchayati justice’ by many media celebs. For SG that was just another stupid case about some ‘Divine encroacher’. So when a law man comes along and says ‘behave’ it naturally rattles the entire media clan or, to use Rajdeep Sardesai’s term, he turns off the steam in the media ‘Hammam’. Of all the media dealers who seem upset with the arrival and statements of Justice Markandeya Katju (MK) CNN-IBN seems to be the most rattled.
All this started with Karan Thapar’s interview of MK in which the former judge of Supreme Court lashed out at the media. What’s the response? Hmm! Sagarika asks if MK should apologise on her programme ‘Face the nation’ on November 2. An apology? Okay! Earlier, she wanted an apology from Narendra Modi because the law found nothing against him. Not sexy! So this apology business is getting too frequent. I wonder if SG ever thought about it but if there is someone who has to really apologise for the crap peddled to the nation it she herself. All her misplaced sanctimony could vapourise if she only looked in the mirror. On second thoughts, instead of looking in the mirror she should just listen to her voice, listen to herself and maybe read what she also sometimes writes. In the case of Kanimozhi, SG thinks the law is pressured by the public and acts without evidence or lack of it. I guess she’d prefer the courts acted like her silly shows.
SG has probably never looked at how she has made an absolute trash of the Aarushi murder case, along with many other media celebs. Her nonsense is recorded in this post “Aarushi Case:Flogging The Dead Girl” on February 11. Justice Katju was one who reprimanded the media severely for the way they handled the sensational murder case. To hell with the law and judges. What does the ass and assholes know anyway? And her modesty in her tweets can only be surpassed by a divine squatter on the internet. Sagarika’s tweets are discussed in case study by a post on Google site which I have reproduced. More recently, this star child of the media wrote (Shrillery of the shill): “In the media there is danger of a disconnect between readers and the imitative 'Sex and the City' type columns that pour out of glossy outlets. Academics, closeted in their ivory towers, are failing to engage with new realities and generate new ideas”. Oh really? Sex and the city type columns? Hahahaha! There you go, the SatiSavitri of the media reflecting on her clan. But what about her own article years ago in Outlook (now pulled off the internet by Outlook). That article is titled “Do Indian men owe their women an orgasm?”
Well, Outlook is as glossy a magazine as you can get but I don’t know if SG’s article can be classified under the sex and the city type columns she so deplores. But it can certainly qualify under sex and the law considering she does recommend in her legal treatise that: “Men not only owe women an orgasm but they should be legally bound to provide it”. LOL! Well, it seems that was the only time that SG ever had any admiration for the law. I guess SG never heard that the US courts say that the law can protect your right to “Pursuit of life, liberty and happiness” but the law does not guarantee happiness. Maybe the SC in India should tell her that the law can protect your right to sex but it cannot guarantee orgasm – that is not in the control of the law or the courts. It would be a cold day in May I guess when we get to see a petition in the SC seeking relief for not reaching an orgasm. That would be a great day for SG, of course.
Not so long ago SG ventured to interview the grand-daddy of law, Ram Jethmalani. That was all about Ram defending murder-accused Manu Sharma in the Jessica Lall case. She kept on insisting like a moron that it was morally wrong for RJ to have taken up that case. That was some years ago. SG hasn’t learnt from the spanking she got from RJ that the law doesn’t work on her ideas of morals. RJ tried his best explaining to her that every accused is entitled to a defence and lawyers are obliged to defend their clients. And that the decisions are made in the court and not in Sagarika’s TV studio. So even all those years ago Sagarika was under the grave impression that those who are convicted by the media have no right to defence in our courts. And looks like her understanding of law hasn’t changed too much.
Finally, some small advice for Sagarika: The law may be an ass, but don’t try to screw it so often. It can be painful if you are pulled up for contempt and end up in prison. And even in prison the law doesn’t guarantee orgasms, although the law doesn’t exclude the possibilities.