Friday, April 15, 2011

An Idiot's Guide To Killing Our Cricketers

Strange are the ways a government works around election time. You never know who they are really trying to appease. And anyone is fair game, including cricketers. The public is often accused of having a short memory. In this case, over and over again, it seems that our government and parts of the media are the ones with a short memory. The Kandahar hijack, the 26/11 attacks and many other terrorist attacks do seem to be distant episodes of Pakistan’s hatred for India as far as our politicians go. It is one thing to invite the Pak PM for a cricket match but a totally outrageous idea to send our cricketers to play in Pakistan again. It’s a place where no other nation wants to play cricket right now. I doubt any nation wants to play any game in Pakistan right now. No one, except our foolish government. Let’s also remember how the Times Group told us during the 26/11 attacks that “we will never forget this” and a few months later were peddling something called ‘Aman Ki Asha’.

To all the morons who repeatedly suggest that cricket and politics should not be linked I simply want to say that when it comes to Pakistan, don’t mix anything. They do not deserve our sympathy or friendship. If Pakistan truly desires peace and friendship with India then it should be up to them to make the first moves now. The attack on the Sri Lankan players in Pakistan in early 2009 is the worst attack on sportspersons since the attack on Israeli athletes during the Munich Olympics in 1972. The Lankans were fortunate to survive that attack. Who would want to risk such an attack on our own players, which is a very tempting prospect for the Paki terrorists. Importantly, no matter what fortresses and security you build around players that is not the frame of mind in which any sportsperson would like to play a game.

One is tempted to recall the very kind words that Shahid Afridi used to describe India and Indians, after the world cup semi-final match recently. While he may sound like a juvenile jerk his sentiments are quite similar to what most Pakistanis share about India. All this crap about people to people contact is limited to a few elites in politics and media. Ordinary Indians want nothing to do with Pakistan. A failed state which has nothing to offer to any country in the world and survives on misdirected aid is not exactly a friend anyone wants.

If Pakistan is in the miserable position of being unable to play any major international sport on its own soil that is of its own making. It is Pakistanis themselves who have put themselves in that situation and India neither has the need nor the responsibility to play agony aunt to this terrorist state. We have been generous enough to allow some Pakistani assholes to come and dance and sing and strut around in Big boss and such programmes or Bollywood. Let them respond in kind to that first. And then you have Paki singers who come here and smuggle illegal cash and funds and the government lets them off lightly.

Our cricketers have a lot going for them in our own country. The IPL has clearly shown the door to Paki players and if that doesn’t tell the government something then both S.M. Krishna and Manmohan Singh have to be political bimbos.Stop thinking about Pakistan and think for Indian cricketers and people. Our cricketers are not lambs to be sent for a slaughter. The PM should send his own family and members of the ruling party to go and provide entertainment for Pakis and win friendship.

I have a suggestion though. Our cricketers have not aired any willingness to play in Pakistan. But there are some who are deeply in love with Pakistan and consider that terrorist state a friendly neighbour. I suggest we send the likes of Salman Khan, Shahrukh Khan and maybe even Barkha Dutt to entertain Pakis. There can be no better ambassadors than these and who knows Pakistan might even keep them forever and I for one would be delighted if they do.


  1. The very idea is frightening and the decision is the himalayan blunder to pack our team to a failed state which is of no use for the rest of society to the globe whatsoever. What struck to compel to coax and in which moron's mind it enshrined to act so? As the author rightly said, let the people profited by the terrorist attack and other illegal activities pack of without security to that failed state and enjoy life, we do not want that taste. If they do so and if the terrorist consume them the Saturn for this nation will be diminished in count.

  2. Please add Javed Akhtar and so on to the list of Khans and Dutts. You could even take a poll on the top-20 to be sent to Pakistan!

  3. manmohan singh's dearest wish is to win the nobel peace prize :country,values,sacrifices et al be damned. he will gladly sup with a constant and everlasting enemy to try and achieve this impossible utopian orgasm. regarding sending barkha dutt to pakistan permanently - remember that the average pakistani too has human rights...

  4. The PM has announced that cricket matches will be now played with Pakis as it used to be.
    I would like the guts of Indian players to refuse to play such matches.

  5. pls don't forget to include sir kuldeep naiyyar and his candle!

  6. please add Sri Mahesh Bhatt ji to the list


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