Friday, April 22, 2011

Airtel The Pimp & Broker

If you accuse me not having any experience with Vodafone, BSNL, MTNL, Reliance or Tata you would probably be right. I don’t ! But my life just changed when I came across a company called AIRTEL. Yeah I am one of those miserable assholes who got myself an AIRTEL mobile connection and my life has been exciting since then.  Guess what? I didn’t just get a simple SIM card, I got myself a pimp and a broker for free.

For all those who value their privacy and the comfort of being connected AIRTEL is the son you never wanted.  All through the day you are likely to get messages of properties in Noida, Gurgaon and anywhere in India. I never knew Airtel was an estate broker. This comes free. Hahahahahha! Wait, that is not all.

Having got myself an AIRTEL SIM card I decided I was tired of these stupid smses all day and went ahead to register on their DND thing. Isn’t that nice? A phone company that even has this service? So, after you key in your phone number AIRTEL will send you a 4 digit pin code which you key in and you’re registered for a DND. Or so I thought. But before you can proceed to the next screen you will be offered some 7 options to select from. Options are Real Estate, Health, Tourism and so on. And here‘s the deal – Unless you select one of these options you can’t register for DND. So AIRTEL has options to invade your ass whether you like it or not. Do you feel lucky?

If you were walking down Kamati bazaar in Bombay you would probably come across those special characters who would give you a guided tour. You touch, don’t touch, you see or don’t see but you pay! You look, you pay! You touch, you pay! You screw, you pay! You get wet, you pay! Hahahahha you can do all this for free with AIRTEL! The free pimp! Keep it zipped or don’t get wet, else you will pay!

I finally realised with my experience that DND in case of AIRTEL is not Do Not Disturb. It means Dumb N Dumber. You buy a SIM card and you get a pimp and estate broker for free! Isn’t that what we always wanted?

I wonder how much the pimp makes for selling your identity and number! Make a wild guess!


  1. कलही मैंने एक पूरी पोस्ट लिखी है.. Not in your style!! But I agree!!

  2. We are sorry, but we were unable to complete your request- I got the above when tried to post my comment

  3. sir,
    The possession of anything should not be felt as a conundrum if not proud to be; but I am constrained to feel so, if your affront of decimating the balance Rs 198 in my cell No …………is any indication.
    Upon to my shell shock, noticing the same yester morning, I contacted your customer executive to hear to my dismay her helplessness to re credit the same for reason best known to her, reads the mindset of your organisation towards your customer; you agog make your customers to be acquiescence whatever the sinister design you inflict regardless of valued user which is unacceptable in this competitive world.
    I am man of deeds but hardly believe in diatribe, therefore, request you if take your customers as crosshairs, see the entire siphoned amount is re-credited to my account and arrest further such happening to me in particular and to all your customers in general. I hope for, a pragmatic action at your earliest. a rue of my officer for which they replied that he browsed hence acted so.

    My officer replied to recommend his name to register in gunnies book of record for having browsed when the piece does not have the feature

  4. I was so pissed off with Airtel.. did you also experience how abruptly you get a call and when you pick, it would play some shit hello tune..

    I put those numbers on ignore list, but Airtel seems to find new numbers to disturb me :(

  5. like i said! we are the only fools in this whole wide world who pays to watch ads.

    BTW to register as a DND, use any of the banks website, HDFC works for me and register your phone there.

  6. Other service providers are no different

  7. stupid article, how do you expect telcos to make money? with calling prices low and license fees skyhigh, every one has to look at alternative sources to fund your free calls and thats what Telcos do! That said its irritating I would agree to get calls from Tom ,dick and harry!

  8. MD Nalapat about Corruption creating chaos in India. P Chidambaram is exposed in this write up.

  9. High time somebody wrote about this. There are any number of Supreme court verdicts that the cable TV industry and the mobile telephony industry ignore with impunity and get away with it all the time. Does any cellphone manufacturer give a damn about the end user, that is the public?
    Consumer affairs is another sphere that needs urgent attention in India; we definitely need a Ralph Nader.


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